By Antonette Schminke
Take responsibility for being you
You have one life. There’s only one of you, so there’s only one person that can take responsibility of living that life and that is you! It’s called Self Love.
Don’t hide behind ‘where you’ve come from.’ Forget about about your history. Forget about your upbringing or in which suburb. Forget about what happened to you in the past or up to this point.
The only way to move forward, is to take responsibility for your thoughts and actions and where you are now.
It doesn’t matter what scars your carry. We all have them. And if you are sitting waiting on someone else to come and save you, to come and help you, to come and drag you out of your circumstances, to fix you, you are wasting your time.
You can be anything you put your mind to. It’s really simple. Note that I haven’t said it would be easy, but it is very simple to do. You have to start believing in yourself. Nobody else will!
You need to accept where you are. Just as you are and lift that chin up and start moving forward!
“Self love isn’t selfish; you cannot truly love another until you know how to love yourself.”
What "stories" do you tell yourself?
When you wake up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? What do you tell yourself?
“I am brave.” “I am strong.” I am pretty.”
Or is it more like “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not capable enough.” “I’m so tierd.” “I’m not enough.”
What stories do you feed your mind?
Let’s look at thoughts for a moment. Your thoughts are real things occupying your brain. As we are thinking we are building thoughts inside of our brains. And you can control it. You can choose to direct your mind. Scientists have proven that, as you use your mind, you can change your brain. In other words, the way that you think is going to change the way that your brain functions. If you think in a negative way, your brain will change in a negative way, but… If you think positive thoughts about yourself, you can change! This is called the plastic paradox. And changing your thoughts will lead to changing your actions.
Two powerful words that will change your life
I AM – matter! Whatever comes after: “I am…” – THAT is what you’ll become! Whatever follows those two words, that is what you will become.
Maybe it’s time to change our minds, our thoughts, our believes about ourselves and act like we already have all those things that we want so desperately.
We have the power to do it! We have the power to consciously focus and envision what we want to be? Fill in those blanks: “I am… pretty enough.” “I am… capable of change.” “I am… enough.”
Start this new practice. Be kinder to yourself and see the change and progress in your life.
Your life is bigger than just this moment.
Everybody always talks about your calling or your purpose. But what I know for sure is that our paths are already laid out for us. Life is your journey to get to that ultimate destination of your destiny. That is why we are put on this earth. To fulfill our purpose.
Your responsibility is to find that, to hear that, to know that and when you don’t listen to your inner voice, your soul talking to you, guiding you, you loose focus and you get side tracked. You wander off your path, by choosing the wrong job, by falling for the wrong person. But ultimately, you’ll get back on track again, because that is your journey. That is your path. That is your walk of life to get you to where you are supposed to be.
So, if you think about it, you can’t really fail. You get side tracked, yes. You loose sight of your path and you get confused along the way. You might even get scars along the way, but there really aren’t any losses, because when you get lost or fall, that is a wake-up call for you.
That is a way to get you back on track. You just need to listen to that inner voice of yours, I call it God, but you are destined to get to where you need to be.
And when you completely understand this, you don’t allow yourself to be completely thrown by not getting that dream job, or that marriage that failed, because your life is bigger than that moment. It’s a rock you need to get past. There are no mistakes in your life.
So, the next time you feel uneasy about a situation in your life, that is when you should pay attention. Sit up and listen closely, because this might just be your wake-up call!
Get back on track by becoming still and ask yourself, what do I need to do? How am I going to do it? Who will this affect and ask yourself why is this important. Where is this leading to?
How do you re-charge to get that self love?
What brings you joy? Listening to music, meditation, drawing or painting? Going for a run or a hike with some friends?
Don’t underestimate the importance of these things, because these activities that brings you joy, these are the things that will fill your cup and lead to self love. And when your cup is full you can share yourself with others. You can share and give yourself to other people.
Breaking that cycle of Negativity
You want to know the easiest answer as to breaking the cycle of negativity?
Journal. It’s that simple. You don’t have to write essays. Jotting down a few words is enough. But count your blessings. Every day.
Practice gratitude, because if you focus on what you have and you’re being thankful for it, that is when the change will happen for you. Your focus will shift and your perspective of your life and you will see that you have enough. You really do! So, practice being grateful and loving yourself.